By Evan Roder
There is no meaning to life. If one were to attempt to conjure up a meaning to help give closure, I would argue the meaning of life is to try to forget that every day we are slowly dying.
The most popular way for most Americans to do this is by surrounding ourselves with unneeded material possessions and a plethora of entertainment. These distractions keep our minds off of our inevitable mortality, and instead divert our attention towards subjects such as reality television and sports. Why do you think most people before our time died so young? It was not because of a lack of advanced medicine, but rather a lack of entertainment. Without television or films, the uneducated had nothing to consume their time, so they had no need to carry on with their dull and uninteresting lives.There is no such thing as dying of old age. Only dying of boredom. It still happens today. After you retire, you have nothing to do all day but watch soap operas. Have you watched a soap opera recently? They are boring as shit. I’d beg to “die of old age” after watching “As The World Turns.” Even the title sounds boring. That show should be a science program on PBS.
I can only hope that by the time I am older, Television will be so entertaining that I will become immortal. However, judging on how television is currently, I think I am terminally ill.
Think about everything you do in your life. It is almost all geared towards avoiding your own mortality. Going to school gets you a job, which in turn gets you money to purchase material possessions to overwhelm your senses and make your tune out the voice in your head telling you that you are past your prime, all your dreams will go unrealized, and that if you went back in time to visit your past self, you’d make the kindergarten version of you cry in disappointment.
Even something as simple as dating has ulterior motives. We date to prepare us for relationships in our future that may lead to marriage, so we can have children, to carry on our names and build a legacy after we die. This is the only way for man to find immortality. Through the passing on of a last name. It is a sexist society we live in where the woman do not have such a right.
The concept of religion serves as a similar tool for us. It gives us the promise of an afterlife, so people do not fear death as much. Lying to ourselves about how there is a magical world where we get to have sex in a cotton candy cloud is only a slight exaggeration of the promises religion offers us. 90% of the world is religious, because we are a fearful people. The cause of most wars is over religion, because if a different religion is claiming to be correct, that means the one you worship is wrong and you don’t get to masturbate in a bathtub of caramel and melted marshmallow. As you can see, if I believed in heaven, my vision would probably involve an abundance of sex and food.
So I write this not to bum you out, but rather to SEVERELY BUM YOU OUT. Life sucks, and at the end of the journey, at least there is eternal darkness and silence. Oh, but you don’t get to experience the silence because you have no senses. Everything would be nothing to you. Have a good day!